It’s okay!

I have been thinking about putting something out over the past few weeks. I am not someone who puts up a blog every now and then. But somewhere i felt it is important for people to get some knowledge about chikungunya even though it’s through my story.

Hi, I am Jayesh. And these are some moments from my life since I was diagnosed with chikungunya in September of 2021.

How much do we know about chikungunya? Why is a mosquito prone virus named chikun? Chikungunya can lead to Arthritis? Is chikungunya transmitted from human to human? Is chikunguniya and chickenpox same?

These are questions for which you can do a quick search on the internet and get answers. I did. I had to. Because I myself wasn’t aware of chikungunya until I was diagnosed with it.

The symptoms of chikungunya are so similar to dengue and a few other diseases that it took doctors more than 2 weeks to diagnose me with it. During this time I felt very lost, unsure if I should take a break from work, be on bedrest, what tests should I get done, should I stop my walks, or is it important to continue them?

The symptoms I got were fever, fatigue and extensive joint and muscle pain. The frustrating bit was that the joint and muscle pain were coming instantaneously.

Once I was diagnosed, my treatment to relieve symptoms started immediately and within a week the fever was gone. However, the joint and muscle pain never left. It still surfaces, more than a month later, from time to time. And is very debilitating.

There is a lot to go through. It’s an eerie feeling when your own body behaves like a stranger. Where you are not on complete bed rest and not even 100% fit to do regular activities or make travel plans. Especially for someone like me who would like to travel almost every weekend. It becomes difficult to plan to work from the office, or have dinner plans, catching up with friends or family because you are unsure of when, without warning, the pain might just resurface.

Every morning when I wake up with rust in my body, feeling like arthritis, joints so numb that I am not able to stand on my legs, grabbing and picking objects, climbing up and down the stairs, until I succumb and just sit down on the floor. I hate this fatigue and dependency. It’s like having the mind of a 30 year old with the joints of an 80 year old.

Sometimes I have traveled when I shouldn’t have. Those travels have led to exertion. The exertions led to regret. At these times I am not so objective. I don’t think that I have the mind of a 30 year old with joints of an 80 year old. I end up blaming myself for allowing the pain to make its home in my body.

Not to my surprise when I informed my family, friends and colleagues that I have been diagnosed with chikungunya, they were equally unaware of what it is. I have to literally explain details to each one, every time. Some didn’t even (still don’t) understand the gravity of the problem.

These problems also fluctuate from day to day and it is hard to explain to people that sometimes you have the problem and sometimes you don’t. At times, even though you’ve explained to someone that you have a problem because they can’t see it, they may forget it exists. It can be tedious, and helpless to have to remind someone repeatedly that there is something wrong with you.

“Oh! You have still not recovered?”, “Has your pain gone? We have a family function to attend”, “Come on, How bad can it be?…

How bad indeed?

The name “chikungunya” derives from a word in the Kimakonde language, meaning “to become contorted”, and describes the stooped appearance of sufferers with joint pain (arthralgia).

That’s how bad.

Yes, I feel helpless at times. Yes, I don’t like this feeling. Yes, I try to keep a happy face while interacting with everyone. Yes, I don’t like to be dependent. Yes, I don’t know if this will take months or years to heal.

But,

It’s okay!

I am an optimist. So if things aren’t better today, I will always look forward to a better tomorrow. :)